Book Review: Becoming Selfish by Liz Tomforde (2021) Becoming Selfish
is the 2021 debut novel by Liz Tomforde and the first installment in her Selfish duet. While Tomforde is now famous for her Windy City series (starting with Mile High), this earlier work establishes her signature style of emotional, high-stakes sports romance. 📖 Plot Overview
The story follows a classic "brother’s best friend" and "college hockey" trope.
Eli James Maddison: A college hockey star with his eyes solely on the NHL. He is notoriously selfish, refusing to let anything or anyone distract him from his professional dreams.
Logan Leo: A 22-year-old who has spent her entire life caring for others. She moves across the country for a fresh start, determined to finally put herself first—to "become selfish".
The Conflict: When Logan moves in with her best friend (Eli’s brother), the two are forced into each other's orbit. Despite their opposing goals, they find a deep, unexpected connection that challenges their individual plans. ⭐ Key Review Takeaways
Based on reader consensus from platforms like Goodreads and Literal.club, the book typically earns a 4.05/5 star rating. The Pros:
Becoming Selfish (The Selfish, #1) by Liz Tomforde | Goodreads
Becoming Selfish is the first book in the Selfish Duet by Liz Tomforde. Originally published on August 26, 2021, it is a contemporary sports romance following the story of Eli James Maddison and Logan Leo. Book Overview Characters:
Eli (EJ) Maddison: A college hockey star and captain aiming for the NHL.
Logan Leo: His brother's best friend, who moves to town to start an MBA program and learn to put herself first.
Plot: Both characters are trying to be "selfish" for different reasons—Eli to focus on his career and Logan to reclaim her own life after years of caretaking. Despite their goals, they find themselves drawn to each other.
Sequel: The story concludes in the second book of the duet, Staying Selfless (2022). Formats and Availability
While originally released in 2021, the book has become difficult to find in standard retail channels as Liz Tomforde has transitioned to her popular Windy City series.
Becoming Selfish (The Selfish, #1) by Liz Tomforde | Goodreads
Becoming Selfish Liz Tomforde is a contemporary sports romance novel originally published on August 26, 2021 . It is the first installment in The Selfish duet, preceding the sequel Staying Selfless Plot Overview The story follows
, a twenty-two-year-old woman who has spent her entire life caretaking for others. Seeking a fresh start and a chance to finally prioritize her own needs—to "become selfish"—she moves to Minnesota to attend an MBA program with her best friend, Marcus. becoming selfish by liz tomforde epub pdf 2021
Her plans are complicated when she meets Marcus’s brother, Eli James Maddison
, a star college hockey player with professional NHL aspirations. Eli is known for being singularly focused and "selfish" regarding his career, but his attraction to Logan forces him to consider someone other than himself for the first time. Key Themes and Tropes Brother's Best Friend:
A central romantic trope where the female lead falls for her closest friend's sibling. Hockey Romance:
The male lead is a college athlete under immense pressure to be drafted into the NHL. Mental Health & Grief: Reviewers on The StoryGraph
highlight the book's deep exploration of grief, anxiety, and past trauma.
The narrative alternates between Logan and Eli's perspectives. Current Availability
A Refreshing Guide to Embracing Self-Care and Setting Boundaries
In "Becoming Selfish," Liz Tomforde offers a refreshingly honest and empowering guide to prioritizing one's own needs and desires. This book is not about being selfish in the classical sense, but rather about recognizing the importance of self-care and setting healthy boundaries in order to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Tomforde's writing is engaging, relatable, and often humorous, making it easy to get lost in her stories and anecdotes. She shares her own struggles with people-pleasing, burnout, and self-doubt, and reveals how she learned to rewire her thinking and behaviors to prioritize her own needs.
One of the strengths of this book is its accessibility. Tomforde's advice is practical and actionable, and she provides a range of exercises and prompts to help readers reflect on their own values, goals, and boundaries. She also tackles tough topics like guilt, shame, and anxiety, offering a compassionate and non-judgmental space for readers to explore their own emotions.
What resonated with me most about "Becoming Selfish" was the emphasis on self-awareness and self-compassion. Tomforde reminds us that it's okay to say no, to prioritize our own desires, and to take care of ourselves – even if that means disappointing others. She shows us that by doing so, we can actually become more generous, creative, and present in our relationships and pursuits.
Overall, I highly recommend "Becoming Selfish" to anyone looking to cultivate a more self-aware, self-care-oriented mindset. This book is a valuable resource for anyone struggling with burnout, people-pleasing, or feelings of inadequacy. Tomforde's writing is warm, witty, and wise, and her message is both timely and timeless.
Rating: 5/5 stars
Recommendation: If you enjoyed books like "The Self-Care Revolution," "Daring Greatly," or "The Gifts of Imperfection," you'll likely love "Becoming Selfish." This book is perfect for anyone interested in personal growth, self-care, and mindfulness.
Format: EPUB, PDF (available for download in 2021)
I can’t provide or reproduce copyrighted text (like the full eBook or large excerpts) from "Becoming Selfish" by Liz Tomforde. I can, however, write an original essay about the book based on common themes in contemporary self-help/personal-growth literature and your brief (if you give one). I’ll assume you want a critical-analytical essay that summarizes likely themes, discusses structure and style, and evaluates impact—if that assumption is wrong, tell me one sentence of direction. Book Review: Becoming Selfish by Liz Tomforde (2021)
Here’s a concise 800–1,000 word essay based on that assumption:
Becoming Selfish: An Analytical Essay
"Becoming Selfish" by Liz Tomforde (2021) positions itself within contemporary self-help discourse by reframing selfishness from a moral failing into a deliberate, constructive practice for personal wellbeing and healthier relationships. Rather than endorsing narcissism, Tomforde’s central thesis asserts that intentional self-prioritization—when balanced with empathy and boundaries—enables authenticity, resilience, and sustainable care for others.
Summary and Structure Tomforde organizes the book around three interconnected moves: reclaiming the word “selfish,” developing practical boundary skills, and cultivating internal resources that support long-term self-care. The opening chapters problematize cultural narratives that equate selfishness with cruelty, arguing that these narratives have historically discouraged people (especially women and caregivers) from protecting their needs. Mid-book chapters translate theory into practice: assertive communication scripts, rituals for rest, and frameworks for evaluating obligations. Case studies and exercises appear throughout, designed to guide readers from insight to behavioral change. The final section situates selfishness as an ethical stance—one that acknowledges interdependence while insisting that self-preservation is not optional.
Key Themes
Redefinition of Selfishness: Tomforde reframes selfishness as an act of self-preservation rather than moral failure. She distinguishes between exploitive selfishness and “sustaining selfishness,” the latter being necessary to maintain one’s emotional and physical capacity.
Boundaries as Skill: A central claim is that boundary-setting is learnable. Tomforde provides a taxonomy of boundaries (time, emotional, material) and practical scripts to enact them. The emphasis is on clarity, consistency, and compassionate firmness.
Internal Resource-Building: The book stresses habits—sleep, nutrition, micro-rests, cognitive reframing—that replenish the self. Tomforde views these as investments that reduce reactive behavior and increase intentional generosity.
Ethical Interdependence: Rather than privileging radical individualism, Tomforde argues for an ethic that sees self-care as necessary for authentic connection. She challenges guilt-based caregiving and proposes reciprocity and clear expectations as healthier alternatives.
Style and Persuasiveness Tomforde’s prose combines accessible psychological insight with anecdotal examples and practical exercises—typical of modern self-help. Her voice is direct and empathetic, seeking to normalize readers’ struggles while offering concrete tools. The inclusion of short scripts and step-by-step exercises enhances usability, though at times the tone leans toward prescriptive simplicity that may underplay structural constraints (e.g., socioeconomic limits on time and resources). The book’s persuasiveness rests on relatable examples and actionable advice, but readers seeking academic rigor may find the empirical grounding lighter than in clinically-oriented texts.
Strengths
Limitations
Audience and Impact "Becoming Selfish" is best suited to readers who feel overwhelmed by caregiving roles, chronic people-pleasing, or burnout. It functions as a practical primer for setting boundaries and establishing self-care routines. Therapists, coaches, and group facilitators may find its exercises useful, though they should adapt guidance to clients’ structural realities. The book contributes to ongoing cultural conversations about care, labor, and emotional boundaries by legitimizing self-preservation as an ethical, sustainable stance.
Conclusion Liz Tomforde’s "Becoming Selfish" offers a timely corrective to guilt-driven caregiving cultures by reframing selfishness as a practical strategy for durable wellbeing. Its greatest value lies in actionable exercises and the compassionate challenge to prioritize oneself responsibly. Readers should pair its insights with an awareness of systemic constraints and a discerning application that keeps reciprocity and empathy central, ensuring that “becoming selfish” strengthens—not severs—healthy interpersonal bonds.
If you want a different focus (e.g., a shorter 300-word review, a 1,500-word critical paper with citations, or an essay that engages specific chapters or quotes), tell me which and I’ll produce it.
Becoming Selfish , the debut contemporary sports romance by Liz Tomforde , was first published on 26 August 2021 . It is the first installment in The Selfish duet, preceding the sequel, Staying Selfless Book Overview Becoming Selfish: An Analytical Essay "Becoming Selfish" by
The novel introduces readers to a dual-perspective story set in the world of college hockey. The Right Move
Becoming Selfish , the first book in the "Selfish" series by Liz Tomforde
, was originally published on August 26, 2021. While the author is now best known for her Windy City series, this earlier work is currently out of print
because the author bought back the rights and reportedly plans to rewrite it. Reader Reviews and Sentiment Community reviews from The StoryGraph
highlight a mix of high emotional impact and technical flaws:
Title: Finding Yourself on the Court: A Deep Dive into Liz Tomforde’s Becoming Selfish (2021)
If you are a fan of contemporary romance, specifically the sports romance sub-genre, you have likely heard the name Liz Tomforde. Her books have taken the BookTok and Bookstagram communities by storm, and for good reason. Among her most discussed works is the 2021 release, Becoming Selfish.
Whether you are looking to download the EPUB or PDF, or simply want to know if this book is worth your time, this post covers everything you need to know about this gripping romance.
Before diving into file formats, let’s discuss the story that has readers hooked. Becoming Selfish is the first book in Liz Tomforde’s Windy City Series, though it functions beautifully as a standalone.
The Premise: The novel follows Lenny, a professional hockey player for the Chicago Thunderbirds. On the ice, he is aggressive, focused, and dominant. Off the ice, he is a man grappling with the ultimate sacrifice. To protect his family’s legacy and his younger sister’s future, Lenny has made a career out of being selfless—prioritizing everyone else's needs over his own happiness.
Enter Miller, a strong-willed, independent woman who runs a small business and has built walls around her heart to avoid being hurt by the transient nature of athletes' lives. When a fake dating scenario throws them together, the initial plan is simple: keep up appearances. But as the layers peel back, Lenny realizes that to truly love Miller, he must break his lifelong habit. He must stop being the caretaker and start becoming selfish.
You might wonder why files from 2021 remain in high demand. The answer lies in Liz Tomforde’s writing style. Unlike many romance novels that lean purely into escapism, Becoming Selfish tackles mature, psychological themes:
While Presley’s internal journey is the heart of the book, the romance is the skeleton that holds it all together. Hayes is the perfect foil for Presley. As a professional athlete, he understands discipline and focus. He sees Presley—not the version of her she shows the world to keep the peace, but the real her.
The dynamic between them isn't about him "saving" her. Instead, it’s about him holding up a mirror. He calls her out on her people-pleasing tendencies, not because he is annoyed by them, but because he sees how much they are hurting her. Their chemistry is palpable, built on a foundation of banter that slowly melts into genuine vulnerability.
Tomforde writes tension beautifully. The slow burn here is excruciating in the best way possible. You find yourself turning the pages (or swiping the
Becoming Selfish is a 2021 contemporary sports romance by Liz Tomforde that kicks off the Windy City series with a focus on professional hockey. The novel explores the lives of Elias Bennett and Aria Rose, balancing high-stakes professional ambition with personal growth and romantic tension. It explores themes of setting personal boundaries and features a compelling grumpy/sunshine relationship.