Title: Tsuma ni Damatte Sokubaikai ni Ikun ja Nakatta (妻に黙って即売会に行くんじゃなかった) Translation: “I Shouldn’t Have Gone to the Doujinshi Convention Behind My Wife’s Back” Genre: Domestic Comedy / Slice-of-Life / Cautionary Tale Format: Presumed one-shot story or social media vignette
Tsuma-san returned home on Sunday evening, two hours early. She walked in, carrying a box of her mother’s pickled plums. She saw the cabinet. It was blocking the entrance to the bathroom. The screen glowed with a pixelated fighting character frozen mid-punch.
She did not scream. That is worse. She simply looked at me, looked at the machine, then back at me.
Her first words: "What is that."
Me: "A... retro entertainment system."
Her: "Where did you get it."
Me: "...Sokubaikai."
Her: "When I was gone."
Me: "..."
Her: "Tsuma ni damatte sokubaikai ni ikun ja nakatta?"
That is the moment the phrase became a permanent engraving on my tombstone. She didn't ask it as a question. She stated it as a verdict. You shouldn't have gone to the flea market without telling me.
“妻に黙って、そくばい会に行くんじゃなかった…”
(He kept repeating this line to himself, a nervous mantra that sounded like, “I shouldn’t have gone to the Sokubaikai without telling my wife.”)
Kenji drafted a flawless alibi:
| Time | Activity | Cover Story | |------|----------|-------------| | 6 pm | Grocery run | “I need fresh veggies for dinner.” | | 7 pm | “Helping” the kids with homework | “I’m making sure they finish before bedtime.” | | 8 pm | “Cleaning the bathroom” | “It’s been a while; I’m finally tackling the grout.” | | 9 pm | Sokubaikai | Secret |
He set his phone to “Do Not Disturb” and placed it in the kitchen drawer, hoping the silence would be convincing.
Kenji had always been the “perfect husband” in the eyes of his wife, Aiko. He cooked, cleaned, and never missed a family dinner. Yet there was one secret hobby that kept his heart beating a little faster: the Sokubaikai—a tiny, underground “silent” club where members communicate only through gestures, facial expressions, and a few pre‑agreed hand signs. No words, no phones, just pure, unspoken fun.
One rainy Tuesday evening, Aiko reminded Kenji, “Remember, tomorrow is my presentation at work. Please take care of the house and the kids while I’m out.” Kenji nodded, but his mind was already racing to the secret club’s hidden location. tsuma ni damatte sokubaikai ni ikun ja nakatta free