Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola, por desgracia no es un chiste, cruda realidad :confused:

�Problemas con las matem�ticas..........?

Por eso estamos como estamos: neuronas perezosas...

La semana pasada compr� un producto que cost� 158 �. Le di a la cajera 200 � y busqu� en el bolsillo 8 � para evitar recibir m�s monedas.
La cajera tom� el dinero y se qued� mirando la m�quina registradora, aparentemente sin saber qu� hacer.
Intent� explicarle que ella ten�a que darme un billete de 50 � de vuelta, pero ella no se convenci� y llam� al gerente para que la ayudara.
Ten�a l�grimas en sus ojos mientras que el gerente intentaba explicarle lo que ella, aparentemente, continuaba sin entender.
�Por qu� cuento esto?
Porque me di cuenta de la evoluci�n de la ense�anza en las matem�ticas desde 1950, que fue as�:


1) Ense�anza de matem�ticas en 1950:
Un cortador de le�a vende un carro de le�a por 100 pts . El costo de producci�n de ese carro de le�a es igual a 4/5 del precio de la venta. �Cu�l es la ganancia?

2) Ense�anza de matem�ticas en 1970:
Un cortador de le�a vende un carro de le�a por 100 pts . El costo de producci�n de ese carro de le�a es igual al 80% del precio de la venta. �Cu�l es la ganancia?

3) Ense�anza de matem�ticas en 1980:
Un cortador de le�a vende un carro de le�a por 100 pts . El costo de producci�n de ese carro de le�a es de 80 pts . �Cu�l es la ganancia?

4) Ense�anza de matem�ticas modernas en 1985:
Un le�ador cambia un carro "P" de le�a por un conjunto "M" de monedas.
El cardinal del conjunto "M" es igual a 100. y cada elemento vale 1.
Dibuja 100 puntos gordos que representen los elementos del conjunto "M". El conjunto "F" de los gastos de producci�n comprende 80 puntos gordos del conjunto "M".
Representa el conjunto F como subconjunto del conjunto "M", estudia cu�l ser� su uni�n y su intersecci�n, y da respuesta a la cuesti�n siguiente:
�Cu�l es el cardinal del conjunto "B" de los beneficios?
Dibuja "B" con color rojo.

5) Ense�anza L O G S E :
Un le�ador vende un carro de le�a por un importe de 100 pts . Los gastos de producci�n se elevan a 80 pts , y el beneficio es de 20 pts .
Actividad: subraya la palabra "le�a" y discute sobre ella con tu compa�ero

6) Ense�anza de matem�ticas en 1990:
Un cortador de le�a vende un carro de le�a por 100 pts . El costo de producci�n de ese carro de le�a es de 80 pts . Escoja la respuesta correcta, que indica la ganancia:
( 20 pts ) ( 40 pts ) ( 60 pts ) ( 80 pts ) ( 100 pts ).

7) Ense�anza de matem�ticas en 2000:
Un cortador de le�a vende un carro de le�a por 100 �. El costo de producci�n de ese carro de le�a es de 80 �. La ganancia es de 20 �.
�Es correcto?
(Si) (No).

8) Ense�anza de matem�ticas en 2008:
Un cortador de le�a vende un carro de le�a por 100 �. El costo de producci�n de ese carro de le�a es de 80 �.
Si Ud. sabe leer coloque una X en los 20� que representan la ganancia.
(20 �) (40 �) (60 �) (80 �) (100 �).

9) Ense�anza de matem�tica curso 2009/10:
No hay que preocuparse si no saben responder el ejercicio anterior: llevar�n a los profesores a la Oficina de Supervisi�n del Ministerio de Educaci�n y les exigir�n, a los profesores, repetir la prueba en vista de que la pregunta es de alta dificultad.
Adem�s, tambi�n se puede utilizar, como elemento de apoyo, chuletas, libro o cualquier m�todo o sistema para copiar en el examen sin que por ello sea expulsado de dicho examen ni suspendido, ya que, seg�n la Universidad de Sevilla, est�n en su derecho.

salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hasta ahora pensaba que la peor frase que te puede decir una t�a es: "Tenemos que hablar...". Pero no, la peor frase que te pueden decir es: "yo tambi�n te quiero... pero solo como amigo".


Eso significa que para ella t� eres el m�s simp�tico del mundo, el que mejor la escucha, el mas enrollado... pero que no va a salir contigo.

Va a salir con un impresentable que s�lo quiere acostarse con ella.

Eso s�, cuando el otro le haga una putada, te llamar� a ti para pedirte consejo. Es como si vas a buscar trabajo y te dicen: "Se�or Motos, es usted la persona id�nea para el puesto, el que mejor vitae tiene, el m�s preparado... pero no le vamos a contratar. Vamos a coger a un incompetente. Eso s�, cuando la cague,�le podr�amos llamar a usted para que nos saque del l�o?"

Me pregunto, �qu� he hecho mal? Hemos ido al cine, nos hemos re�do, hemos pasado horas tomando caf�... �A partir de qu� caf� nos hicimos amigos? �Del quinto? �Del sexto? Joder, eso se avisa. �uno menos, y ahora me estar�a acostando con ella!

Para ellas un amigo se rige por las mismas normas que un Tampax: puedes ir a la piscina con �l, montar a caballo, bailar... Lo �nico que no puedes hacer con �l es tener relaciones sexuales.

Es que si lo piensas... Si para una t�a considerarte "su amigo" consiste en arruinar tu vida sexual, �Qu� har� con sus enemigos? A mi me parece muy bien que seamos amigos, lo que no entiendo es por qu� no podemos "follar como amigos".

Yo creo que la amistad entre hombre y mujeres no existe, porque si existiera, se sabr�a. Lo que ocurre es que cuando ella te dice que te quiere s�lo como amigo, para ella significa eso y punto. Pero para ti no. Para ti significa que si una noche est�is en la playa, ella se emborracha, hay luna llena, se han alineado los planetas y meteorito amenaza la Tierra... �A lo mejor consigues enrollarte con ella!

Por eso tragas, porque nunca pierdes la esperanza. �Qu� se l�a con Oscar? Pues ya romper�... cuando lo hace, t� atacas con la t�cnica de "consolador": "No llores, el Oscar ese es un chulo. T� te mereces algo mejor, un t�o que te comprenda, un t�o que sepa estar ah� cuando lo necesitas... Que sea bajito, que sea casta�o, que no sea muy guapo, que se llame Javier... como yo".

Al menos, siendo amigo puedes meter ciza�a para eliminar competencia. Es la t�cnica del "gusano miserable". Cuando ella te dice: - Ay, que majo es Paco, �verdad? �Paco? Es muy majo, s�... un poco bizco. - No es bizco, lo que pasa es que tiene una mirada muy tierna. - S�, en eso tienes raz�n, me fij� el otro d�a, cuando miraba a Marta. - No la miraba a ella, me miraba a m�. -�Ves como es bizco? El colmo es que las t�as consideran que tienen una relaci�n "superespecial" con un t�o cuando pueden dormir con �l en la misma cama y que no pase nada.

Pero bueno, �lo "superespecial" no ser�a que s� pasara algo? Un d�a despu�s de una fiesta, te quedas ayud�ndola a recoger, como haces siempre, y cuando acab�is, ella dice: - Huy, es muy tarde, �por qu� no te quedas a dormir? - �Y donde duermo? - Pues en mi cama. - A ti te tiemblan las piernas: "��sta es mi noche, se han alineado los planetas!" Al rato te das cuenta de que no son precisamente los planetas los que se han alineado, porque ella, como sois amigos, con toda la confianza, se que queda en camiseta y bragas, y t�, visto lo visto piensas: "Me voy atener que quedar en calzoncillos... con la alineaci�n de planetas que llevo encima". As� es que te metes en la cama de un brinco y doblas las rodillas para disimular. Ella se mete, te pega el culo y te dice: "Hasta ma�ana". Y se duerme! "Pero bueno, �c�mo se ha podido dormir tan pronto? �Pero esta t�a no reza ni nada?". �Estas acostado con la t�a que te gusta! Al principio no te atreves moverte, para no tocar nada. Sabes que si en ese momento hicieran un concurso, nadie podr�a ganarte: eres el t�o mas caliente del mundo. Y que larga se te hace la noche! Te vienen a la cabeza un mont�n de preguntas:

"�Tocar una teta con el hombro ser� de mal amigo? �Y si es la teta la que me toca a m�?". Pero despu�s de muchas horas ya solo te haces una pregunta: �Ser� realmente gilipollas?". No puedes creer que est�is en la misma cama y no vaya a pasar nada. Conf�as en que en cualquier momento se d� la vuelta y te diga: "Venga tonto, que ya has sufrido bastante, �hazme tuya!". Pero no. A las t�as nunca les parece que hayas sufrido bastante. Y mira que sufres... Porque tienes toda la sangre del cuerpo acumulada en el mismo sitio. Se han dado casos de hombres que han llegado a reventar.

Pero ah� no termina tu humillaci�n. A las siete de la ma�ana suena el timbre de la puerta: �Ay, es Oscar! �Oscar? �Pero no le hab�as dejado? Ya te contar�, que ahora tengo prisa. Se me olvid� decirte que iba a traer su perro, porque como nos vamos a Baqueira, yo te dije que el perro mejor que contigo no iba a estar con nadie. �Qu� tu eres un amigo! Tienes mala cara, �has dormido bien? Y ah� te quedas con el perro, que �se s� que es el mejor amigo del hombre

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

No tio no!

La peor frase que te puede decir una tia es....!

"��Est� dentro??" :meparto::meparto::meparto::meparto::meparto:

Birras i salut para todos!

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

Juan y Mar�a se casan pero como no les alcanza el dinero, se quedan a pasar la Luna De Miel en casa de los padres de Juan.
En la ma�ana, Jorgito, el hermanito de Juan, baja a tomar su desayuno.
Cuando esta a punto de salir de casa rumbo a la escuela, le pregunta a su mam� si Juan y Mar�a ya se levantaron.
Ella dice que no.
Jorgito le dice: - '�Quieres saber lo que yo creo?'
Su madre le dice: - 'Eso no te importa, !Anda a la Escuela!'
Horas despu�s Jorgito regresa de la escuela, y le vuelve a preguntar a su madre: - '�Ya bajaron Juan y Mar�a?
La mam� responde, 'No' Jorgito le dice: - '�Quieres saber lo que yo
pienso?'
La madre le vuelve a decir: - 'Eso no te importa. ���Termina de almorzar y haz los deberes!!!'
Largo rato despu�s, Jorgito regresa a casa de haber jugado con sus amiguitos y pregunta nuevamente: '�Ya bajaron Juan y Mar�a?'
Su mam� le dice, 'No' Jorgito vuelve a preguntar: - '�Quieres saber lo que yo creo?'

Esta vez la madre, cansada, le dice: - 'Esta bien, dime qu� piensas'.

Jorgito responde: - 'Bueno, anoche Juan vino a mi habitaci�n y me pidi�
vaselina.
Y yo CREO que en la oscuridad le di el pegamento de mis maquetas'

salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Cuentan que en la Santa Cena, estando Jes�s con sus disc�pulos, Judas le dijo al Maestro: Picha, mira que rayitas m�s g�ay he preparado. Jes�s por dos veces le dijo que El ten�a que dar ejemplo con sus actos y no quer�a probar. Pero a la tercera proposici�n, por no ser un malaje, acerc� la nariz y...justo en ese momento le vino un estornudo y mando todo el costo a la mierda. Entonces, se levant� Judas y, mirando a los dem�s disc�pulos, dijo... �No es p� matarlo ?

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Eso es una tia o el tunel del guadarrama???? :nosabo:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

O que uno tiene un cacahuete, una de dos!! :cunao::cunao:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Dos amigos se encuentran:

- � De d�nde vienes ?
- De la consulta del m�dico.
- � Vaya ! � Y acert� con lo que ten�as ?
- Casi acierta. Llevaba 100 euros y me cobr� 95.

:brindis::brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx Top Info

Unleashing the Vixen: Jia Lissa's Passion for Fashion

In the world of fashion, there are a select few who possess an innate sense of style, an unbridled passion for creativity, and an unwavering commitment to self-expression. Jia Lissa, the enigmatic and captivating model behind the pseudonym "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx," is one such individual. With a keen eye for detail, an infectious enthusiasm for innovation, and a fearless approach to pushing boundaries, Jia Lissa has emerged as a trailblazer in the fashion industry.

The Rise of a Fashion Icon

Born out of a desire to challenge conventional norms and celebrate individuality, Jia Lissa's foray into the world of fashion began with a simple yet bold declaration: to redefine the status quo. With a moniker that echoes her unapologetic attitude and unbridled passion, "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx" has become synonymous with fearless fashion, artistic expression, and unwavering confidence.

Through her striking visuals, daring photo shoots, and uncompromising commitment to her craft, Jia Lissa has rapidly gained a devoted following across the globe. Her fans, drawn to her magnetic persona and awe-inspired by her creativity, eagerly anticipate her next project, fashion statement, or artistic collaboration.

Passion for Fashion: A Jia Lissa Manifesto

So, what drives Jia Lissa's passion for fashion? For this trailblazing model, fashion is not merely a profession or a form of self-expression; it's a way of life. With an insatiable curiosity and a deep-seated love for art, Jia Lissa continually seeks to push the boundaries of style, experimenting with bold new looks, techniques, and mediums.

Through her work, Jia Lissa aims to empower others to do the same, encouraging her audience to explore their own unique aesthetic and celebrate their individuality. Her mantra, "passion for fashion," serves as a rallying cry, inspiring fans to join her on a journey of creative discovery and self-expression.

The Vixen190330 Phenomenon

The "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx" phenomenon has taken the fashion world by storm, captivating the attention of industry insiders, fashion enthusiasts, and social media aficionados alike. With a deft blend of high-fashion sensibilities, avant-garde experimentation, and street-savvy swagger, Jia Lissa has crafted a distinctive persona that defies easy categorization.

Her meteoric rise to fame can be attributed, in part, to her willingness to challenge traditional beauty standards, embracing a more inclusive, diverse, and accepting definition of beauty. By doing so, Jia Lissa has created a sense of community, fostering a supportive and inspiring environment where fans feel encouraged to express themselves authentically.

Key Takeaways from Jia Lissa's Fashion Journey

As a beacon of inspiration for aspiring fashionistas and creatives worldwide, Jia Lissa's journey offers valuable insights into the power of passion, perseverance, and self-expression. Here are a few key takeaways from her remarkable story:

1. Embracing individuality is key: Jia Lissa's unwavering commitment to her unique vision serves as a powerful reminder that fashion is a form of self-expression, not a means to conform to societal norms.
2. Creativity knows no bounds: With an unbridled enthusiasm for innovation and experimentation, Jia Lissa demonstrates that fashion can be a limitless, boundary-pushing art form.
3. Confidence is the ultimate accessory: Jia Lissa's unshakeable confidence and self-assurance serve as a testament to the transformative power of fashion, empowering her audience to own their style and celebrate their individuality.

The Future of Fashion: A Jia Lissa Perspective

As the fashion industry continues to evolve, Jia Lissa remains at the forefront, driving the conversation around creativity, diversity, and inclusivity. Her passion for fashion, coupled with her fearless approach to style and self-expression, positions her as a leader in the industry, poised to shape the future of fashion.

In the words of Jia Lissa, "Fashion is not just about clothes; it's about attitude, confidence, and a willingness to take risks. My goal is to inspire others to join me on this journey, to celebrate their uniqueness, and to never be afraid to push the boundaries of what's possible."

Conclusion

The enigmatic Jia Lissa, behind the pseudonym "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx," has taken the fashion world by storm, redefining the boundaries of style, creativity, and self-expression. With an unwavering passion for fashion, a bold approach to innovation, and a commitment to empowering others, Jia Lissa has emerged as a trailblazer, inspiring a new generation of fashion enthusiasts to join her on a journey of artistic discovery and self-expression. As the fashion industry continues to evolve, one thing is certain: Jia Lissa will remain at the forefront, driving the conversation around creativity, diversity, and inclusivity, and inspiring others to unleash their inner vixen.

The Passion for Fashion

It was a crisp spring morning in 2019 when Jiali, a young and ambitious fashion enthusiast, decided to take the leap and pursue her dreams. With a keen eye for style and a passion for creativity, she had always been fascinated by the world of fashion. Her friends and family often referred to her as a trendsetter, and she took pride in being able to put together outfits that were both unique and chic.

As she walked through the bustling streets of Shanghai, Jiali's mind wandered to her latest inspiration - a stunning red dress she had seen on the runway at a recent fashion show. The way the fabric flowed, the intricate details, and the confidence of the model who wore it all left her in awe. She knew she had to create something similar, but with her own twist.

Jiali spent the next few weeks researching, sketching, and experimenting with different fabrics and textures. She spent long hours in her tiny studio, surrounded by threads, needles, and scraps of material, pouring her heart and soul into her craft. Her friends and family were her biggest supporters, cheering her on and offering valuable feedback.

Finally, the day arrived when Jiali was ready to unveil her creation. She had named it "Vixen," a nod to the confident and sassy women who inspired her. As she carefully placed the dress on a mannequin, she couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

The response was overwhelming. Fashion bloggers and influencers took notice of Jiali's stunning creation, and soon, her phone was flooded with messages and requests. She was invited to showcase her work at a prominent fashion event, and her brand, "Jiali's Passion for Fashion," was born.

Over the next few months, Jiali's star continued to rise. Her designs were worn by celebrities and fashionistas, and her name became synonymous with style and sophistication. But through it all, she remained true to her passion and her vision, always pushing the boundaries of what was possible.

As she looked out at the sea of faces at her latest fashion show, Jiali knew that she had made the right decision in pursuing her dreams. She was living her passion, and it had taken her on a journey she never could have imagined.

The string "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx" appears to be a specific social media handle or unique username, likely associated with a fashion-forward individual or a specific fashion collection.

Below is a blog post drafted with a chic, "passion-for-fashion" vibe inspired by that persona. The Ultimate Style Edit: Channeling the Vixen Aesthetic

If there is one thing we know about fashion, it’s that it isn’t just about the clothes—it’s about the passion. Today, we’re diving deep into the world of vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx, exploring how to take bold, high-fashion energy and turn it into your everyday "top-tier" look.

Whether you're hitting the streets or the studio, here is how to master the vibe. 1. The Power of the "Top" Statement

In the world of passion for fashion, your top isn't just an accessory; it’s the centerpiece. We’re seeing a massive trend toward: Structured Corsetry: Giving that classic vixen silhouette. Sheer Textures: Perfect for layering and adding mystery. Bold Graphics: Making a statement without saying a word. 2. Jia’s Style Secret: Confidence is Key vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx top

The "jialissa" energy is all about owning the room. Fashion is 10% what you wear and 90% how you carry it. To truly embody this aesthetic, focus on:

Tailored Fits: Don't just buy off the rack; make sure it fits your lines perfectly.

Fearless Color Palettes: Think deep crimsons, midnight blacks, and striking metallics. 3. Curating Your Passion

Being a fashionista means being a curator. Don't just follow trends—set them. Look for unique pieces that feel like they were made for your specific story.

"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life." — Bill Cunningham Final Thoughts

Whether you’re a long-time follower of the vixen190330 style or just discovering your own passion for fashion today, remember that every outfit is an opportunity to express who you are.

What’s your go-to "top" for a night out? Let us know in the comments!

#PassionForFashion #VixenStyle #FashionEdit #JialissaInspiration

Here’s a helpful blog post based on the keywords you shared, interpreted as a creative or username-inspired prompt about fashion passion and personal style.

---

Title: Ignite Your Passion for Fashion: A Helpful Guide to Owning Your Personal Style

By: Vixens & Vintage Lovers

We all have that inner spark—a passion for fashion that goes beyond just getting dressed. Whether your username is vixen190330 or just a dreamer with a closet full of possibilities, the journey to loving your look is real. Today, we’re channeling that jialissa energy (fearless, bold, unapologetically you) and breaking down how to turn everyday outfits into statements of self-love.

Let’s get into it.

4. Break the “Rules” (Politely)

Fashion passion isn’t about following trends—it’s about feeling alive in what you wear.

• Mix gold and silver jewelry.
• Wear sneakers with a satin dress.
• Layer a hoodie under a blazer.

If it makes you smile, it works.

4. How to Find Specific Creators

If you are looking for this specific user because you enjoyed their content in the past, here are a few tips to relocate them:

• Platform Check: Handles like this are most common on platforms like Instagram, TikTok, or Depop. Try searching the exact username on those specific apps.
• Name Changes: Creators often rebrand. If the exact handle isn't found, try searching for keywords like "Jialissa" or "Passion for Fashion" combined with the name.
• Archive Sites: Sometimes, older posts or "top" content from previous years are saved on archive sites or Pinterest boards.

Unveiling the Art of Personal Style: A Lesson from "Passion for Fashion"

In the vast world of social media and digital creators, unique usernames often serve as the first hint of the content to come. A handle like "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx" immediately signals a vibrant, bold, and enthusiastic approach to style. Whether you are looking for this specific profile or simply drawn to the concept of a "passion for fashion," there is a lot to learn from the world of dedicated style influencers.

If you are looking to cultivate your own passion for fashion or simply want to understand the appeal of such accounts, here is a guide to embracing personal style.

2. Documenting the Journey: The Importance of "190330"

The numbers in a username often signify a specific date—likely March 30, 2019. This highlights a key aspect of fashion blogging: the timeline. Fashion is cyclical and evolutionary.

• Style Evolution: Looking back at archives (like a post from 2019) shows how trends have shifted and how a creator’s personal taste has matured.
• Inspiration: If you are browsing an archive, look for pieces that have stood the test of time—these are the true "investment pieces" of a wardrobe.

Vixen190330Jialissa’s Passion for Fashion

Jialissa blinked awake to a morning painted in blush and gold. The city outside her apartment window yawned awake—street vendors arranging blooms, a tram clattering past, commuters with coffee in hand—yet her world began where her sketchbook lay open on the kitchen table. The first page held the word that had been driving her for years: Vixen. Beneath it, in a looping hand, she’d scrawled usernames, slogans, and the beginnings of a brand she hadn’t yet dared to launch.

She stood, smoothing a pencil-smudged apron over her favorite dress. Today was the market, the first time she’d reserved a table at the night bazaar to sell her pieces. Her closet was a collage of risks she’d taken on fabric—silk painted with constellations, denim reimagined with hand-stitched floral lace, a jacket patched with old concert tickets and sequins like memory shards. Each item had a story, and she intended to tell them loud.

At the market, lanterns bobbed like low moons and music threaded between stalls. People moved in waves: curious couples, tourists with cameras, students who wore thrift-store badges like medals. Jialissa’s table was modest—a mismatched mirror, a rickety mannequin she’d wrestled into grandeur, a cardholder with business cards that read “Vixen190330.” She arranged her wares with the care of someone setting a scene: a cropped bomber jacket draped over the mannequin’s shoulder, a stack of hand-painted scarves folded into a fan, and a row of small tags handwritten with prices and the name of the fabric’s origin.

“First time?” asked a woman with a camera strap and eyes like a stylist.

“The first big one,” Jialissa admitted, noticing how her pulse matched the drumbeat of the nearby busker’s set.

The woman smiled. “Then you picked the right crowd.” She introduced herself as Mara, a buyer for a small boutique that showcased local designers. Their conversation flowed quickly—materials, inspirations, the ethics of sourcing. Mara’s gaze kept returning to a denim dress Jialissa had altered into something both brave and tender: raw edges softened by lace and a back embroidered with a tiny pair of wings.

“Vixen—right? I love the name. It feels… fearless.” Mara snapped a few photos on her phone, careful and approving. “Would you leave a sample with me? We rotate new brands every month.”

Jialissa’s stomach did a quick cartwheel of pride. It was one thing to dream and another to have someone else cast that dream in a photograph. She nodded, handing over a sewn business card as if it were a talisman.

Word spread like a secret perfume. People stopped to admire, to try on, to ask where she found such unusual textiles. A teenager who’d been saving for months bought a scarf and wrapped it around her shoulders as if it were armor against a very ordinary world. An older man lingered in front of the denim jacket, fingers tracing the stitches, and returned later to ask if Jialissa could alter a suit he’d had since his wedding. She marked the moment—another story stitched into another garment.

As the night deepened, lantern light softened edges and made sequins into constellations. A cluster of musicians drifted past and their song pressed against Jialissa’s ribs with possibility. She thought of the late-night hours hunched over her sewing machine, the piles of fabric that smelled like lavender and coffee, the joy of finding a perfect unexpected seam. She thought of the username she’d chosen years ago—part whimsy, part cipher—and how it had kept her identity playful and defiant through nights of doubt.

When Mara returned, she carried a leather portfolio and a small velvet pouch. “We’d like to place an order,” she said. “A small capsule to start—pieces that feel like your voice.” Unleashing the Vixen: Jia Lissa's Passion for Fashion

Everything inside Jialissa loosened and brightened. The order was modest—three jacket pieces, five dresses—but it was proof that someone else saw the language she’d been speaking with thread and color.

Over the next months, work multiplied. Jialissa rented a studio with tall windows and a single, stubborn radiator. She hired two seamstresses—Rosa, who hummed through the hardest alterations, and Theo, who could pattern a sleeve while balancing a steaming cup of tea. They laughed, argued, and invented systems for finishing seams and labeling stock. Jialissa painted late into the night, dyeing fabrics in kettles that smelled like citrus and rain. The Vixen label moved from handwritten tags to leather-embossed labels with a small wing motif.

Not everything was easy. A supplier missed a shipment; a machine broke down on the cusp of a deadline. A review in an online zine described Vixen’s aesthetic as “too nostalgic for the modern consumer,” and the comment thread split like a seam under strain. Jialissa learned to grit her teeth and sift critique for what helped—a better hem here, clearer product photos there—while discarding the rest.

With every obstacle, her community held fast. Customers returned, bringing friends. Mara introduced Jialissa to other boutique owners, and soon a few pieces were in shops across the city. A pop-up at a gallery introduced a new wave of admirers: artists who wanted custom pieces for shows, and dancers who appreciated fabric that moved like a second skin.

One winter morning, a letter arrived in the post—a thick envelope smelling faintly of the sea. Inside was an invitation: an artisan market in Lisbon had offered space in their curated selection. The edges of the envelope were stamped with calligraphy in a language Jialissa didn’t read but felt in her bones. She sat at her kitchen table, the city cold and crisp outside, and let the possibility unfurl.

Travel was terrifying and exhilarating. At the Lisbon market, the crowd was a different rhythm—languages braided, pastries steaming at vendors’ stalls, and light folding over tile rooftops. Jialissa’s table became a study of contrasts: the urban grit of her denim next to airy linen that caught the seaside breeze. Here, a woman from Madrid asked where she learned to embroider wings. Here, a young designer from Tokyo traded a sketchbook for a hand-painted scarf. Jialissa found herself teaching and learning, swapping techniques, and hearing the word “Vixen” spoken with accents like music.

Back home, the brand had grown enough that Jialissa could hire a part-time manager to handle orders and an intern to document process for social media. She kept designing, though—some habits never changed. She still spent mornings with coffee and sketchbook, letting shapes find their own forms. She still stitched at night, humming as if her favorite songs could help her hands remember the right rhythm.

One summer evening, years after the first market, she returned to the same night bazaar where it all began. Lantern light mosaic’d the pavement, and a busker played the same melody she’d heard years prior, older now, but with memory in each note. People clustered near her stall—friends from years of collaboration, customers who’d become confidants, a seamstress who’d once been a stranger and now had a child who toddled around the skirts.

Mara stood to the side, still with that camera strap, but this time she held a folded magazine. On its cover: a model wearing a jacket with small wings embroidered on the back. Inside, an article traced Vixen190330’s journey from a username scribbled on a sketchbook to a brand that stitched stories into clothes people wanted to wear.

Jialissa caught her reflection in the old mirror—lines at the corner of her eyes from smiling, a smudge of indigo on her thumbnail, a streak of silver in her hair. She thought of the people who had threaded themselves into her work—clients who requested alterations for weddings and funerals, seamstresses who’d taught her new stitches, friends who’d lent hands and couches during late-night launches. She thought of risk and small joys: the first time someone said they felt brave in one of her pieces, the long ride home when every seam felt like a small victory.

She settled behind her stall as the market hummed, the air full of stories waiting to be made. A teenager approached, hesitant, wearing a thrifted jacket with a badge that read “Make Things.” He reached for the embroidered wings and, with a shy grin, asked if she ever regretted the leap she’d taken.

Jialissa considered the path—every late night, every anxious invoice, every triumph—and answered with the same quiet certainty she felt when she put needle to fabric: “No. I made something true.”

He smiled like someone surrendering to courage. She wrapped a small painted scarf in paper and added an extra scrap of cloth tied with twine. “For when you need a reminder,” she said.

The market kept spinning. Lanterns swung, music threaded through the air, and people moved on with new pieces of cloth and new stories stitched into the hems of their lives. Jialissa packed up slowly, fingers lingering on the fabric. Underneath her table, in a small tin, she kept the first business card she’d ever printed—the one that had said, simply, Vixen190330. She placed it in her pocket, a reminder of how a name could become a life when you met work with stubbornness and a generous heart.

Outside, the city breathed around her—a living runway of weather and chance. She walked home beneath that blush-and-gold sky, thinking of the next design waiting in her sketchbook, the next seam she’d sew, and the countless small decisions that had gathered to make a life she could call her own.

Could you please clarify or provide more context about what you're interested in? For example, are you looking for:

1. Information on Jiali's fashion sense or style?
2. An article or content related to "Vixen" and fashion?
3. General information on passion for fashion?

The string "vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx" is a specific file or scene identifier used within the adult entertainment industry, specifically referring to a video featuring performer .

The identifier can be broken down to understand its meaning:

vixen: Refers to the production studio, Vixen, known for high-end adult cinematography.

190330: Represents the release or filming date, likely March 30, 2019. jialissa: The name of the featured model, Jia Lissa.

passionforfashionxx: The title of the specific scene or episode, often stylized with "xx" at the end in file-naming conventions.

In this specific scene, the "top" refers to the clothing item Jia Lissa wears as part of the "Passion for Fashion" theme, which typically features high-fashion aesthetic or lingerie-focused styling. Because these strings are often used as metadata for digital files or search tags, they appear as a continuous block of text without spaces.

As the sun rose over the bustling streets of New York City, 25-year-old fashionista, Jia, was already up and getting ready for another exciting day in the world of fashion. Her Instagram handle, @vixen190330, was gaining popularity, and she was determined to make a name for herself in the industry.

Jia had always been passionate about fashion, and her friends and family often joked that she was born with a needle and thread in her hand. She spent hours scouring thrift stores, vintage shops, and high-end boutiques for unique and statement pieces to add to her collection.

Her friends often referred to her as a "fashion vixen," and Jia took that as a compliment. She loved expressing herself through her clothing choices and wasn't afraid to take risks and try new things.

One day, Jia stumbled upon a vintage designer top at a local thrift store. The top was a stunning piece with intricate details and a bold print. Jia knew she had to have it, and she quickly snatched it up.

As she held the top in her hands, Jia couldn't help but think about how she could style it to make it truly stand out. She spent hours brainstorming ideas, scrolling through fashion blogs and social media for inspiration.

Finally, the day arrived when Jia was ready to showcase her new find. She styled the top with a pair of high-waisted jeans, a statement belt, and a pair of sleek ankle boots. She finished the look off with a bold lip color and a messy, undone hairstyle.

As she took a selfie in front of the mirror, Jia couldn't help but feel like a million bucks. She posted the photo on her Instagram, captioning it "My latest obsession @vixen190330jialissapassionforfashionxx top."

The post quickly gained traction, with her followers praising her impeccable style and creativity. Jia's passion for fashion was evident in every post, and her followers loved her for it. Embracing individuality is key : Jia Lissa's unwavering

From that day on, Jia's Instagram handle, @vixen190330, became a go-to destination for fashion enthusiasts looking for inspiration and style advice. And Jia, the fashion vixen, continued to slay the fashion game, one outfit at a time.

However, I’d be happy to develop a creative story based on the themes your string suggests: a vixen-like (clever, alluring) character, a numerical code (190330) that could be a date or ID, a person named Jialis, a deep passion for fashion, and the word "top" (which could mean a clothing item, a ranking, or a peak moment).

Here is an original short story inspired by those elements:

---

Title: The Vixen’s Top Note

Jialis had always been told she had a vixen’s smile—quick, sharp, and gone before you could decide if it was a promise or a warning. But the only thing she was truly cunning about was fashion.

In her small apartment, closet doors were always open. Fabrics spilled out like secrets. Her friends called her crazy for spending rent money on a single top—a vintage silk blouse from a forgotten 1993 collection. But Jialis knew: a perfect top could rewrite a whole day.

The code 190330 was sewn into the blouse’s inner label. Not a date—too random. Not a serial number—too poetic. Jialis had found it at an estate sale of a reclusive designer named Mara Voss. The old woman’s nephew said, “She talked about a final piece. The Vixen’s Top. Said it would make whoever wore it… unforgettable.”

Jialis bought it for $12.

That night, she wore it to a local designer showcase. She wasn’t a guest—she was a nobody with a student loan. But the moment she stepped in, heads turned. The top’s obsidian silk caught the light like water at midnight. The cut was impossible: it draped like a sigh, hugged like a memory.

A famous editor stopped her. “Who are you wearing?”

“Mara Voss,” Jialis said, inventing confidently. “My private collection.”

Within a week, she was invited to Paris Fashion Week. Not as a spectator—as a muse. A legendary house asked her to walk in their show. Just one look. The top.

The morning of the show, she unzipped the garment bag. The top was gone. In its place: a note. “190330. Meet me at the Passage du Grand Cerf. 3:30 AM. Come alone. – M.V.”

Jialis should have been afraid. Instead, she smiled—that vixen smile.

She went.

In a dusty atelier behind a toy shop, an old woman sat at a sewing machine. Mara Voss. Alive. The “nephew” had been a caretaker. The estate sale a ruse.

“190330,” Mara whispered. “March 30, 2019. The day I swore I’d never design again. Until I saw you try on that blouse. You didn’t wear it, child. You argued with it. You tucked the left side differently. You rolled the sleeves to mid-forearm. You made it yours.”

Mara pulled out a new top—midnight blue, with silver threads that spelled tiny constellations. “This is the real Vixen’s Top. The one you wore was just a map. This is the treasure.”

Jialis touched the fabric. It hummed.

“What does it do?” she asked.

Mara smiled. “It doesn’t do anything. You do. The top just reminds everyone else.”

That night, Jialis walked the runway in the new top. No one photographed her. No one applauded. Instead, every editor, every designer, every billionaire in the front row wept silently. Not from sadness—from recognition. The top made them see themselves as they wished to be seen.

After the show, offers flooded in. Jialis refused them all. She took the top, Mara’s blessing, and the number 190330—now tattooed inside her wrist.

She opened a tiny shop in a basement. No sign. No website. Just a single garment rack. And one rule: You don’t try on the Vixen’s Top. It tries on you.

Only three people have worn it since.

One became a poet. One vanished into the desert. And one—a fashion blogger who’d mocked Jialis for years—simply looked in the mirror, said “Oh,” and started crying happy tears.

Jialis never explained the top’s power. But if you ask nicely, and bring a story of your own, she might let you touch the sleeve.

And for just a second, you’ll feel like the most unforgettable version of yourself.

---

3. Daily Dressing as Self-Care

Treat getting dressed like a small ritual. Lay out your outfit the night before. Try one new accessory (a scarf, belt, or bold earring). Take a mirror selfie—even if you don’t post it. That small act of appreciation fuels your passion.

3. Finding Your "Passion for Fashion"

What does it mean to have a "passion for fashion"? It isn't just about buying expensive clothes. It is about the art of curation and self-expression.

• Curate, Don't Just Consume: Instead of buying every trend, focus on what makes you feel good. A great fashion blogger inspires you to create outfits from what you have.
• Top Picks and Trends: The "top" in the search query likely refers to a desire to see the best outfits or "top" posts. When looking for inspiration, look for creators who mix high-end items with affordable streetwear.

2. The “Thrill of the Hunt” – Shop With Purpose

Fast fashion fades; a curated closet lasts. Make shopping an experience:

• Thrift & vintage stores – One-of-a-kind finds tell your story.
• Clothing swaps – Trade pieces with friends for instant new energy.
• Investment staples – A great blazer, perfect jeans, or killer boots become your fashion anchors.

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola, sin polemicas, � vale ?

Llam� Pascual Maragall (cuando presid�a la Generalidad), a Alberto Ru�z Gallard�n, Alcalde de Madrid:

- Alberto, quisiera hacer un negocio contigo.

- Si como no, Pascual . �Qu� se te ofrece?

- Pues mira, nuestras f�bricas de condones cerraron y estamos ya que... Quer�a saber si nos puedes mandar un pedido de �100.000 condones?

- Puess... s� como no, Pascual.

- �Pero te puedo pedir un favor?

- �Cu�l?

- Que sean todos de color azulgrana. �T� sabes, no? Y lo m�s importante, que tengan una medida de 25 cent�metros de largo y 6 de di�metro.

Ruiz Gallard�n se queda asombrado por las medidas que pide el catal�n. "Joder con los catalinos", piensa Alberto. Total que le responde:

- Bueno Pascual, llamar� a un amiguete m�o para que los haga y te los mande.

- �Muchas gracias Alberto!

Despu�s de hablar con el presidente de la Generalidad, el Alcalde de Madrid hace la llamada al due�o de una compa��a de condones.

- �Qu� pasa Isidro? Soy Gallard�n. Mira, que te tengo un trabajito...

- �Si? �De qu� se trata?

- Pues me llam� el presidente de la Generalidad y dice que quiere un pedido de condones azulgrana, con una medida de 25 cent�metros de largo y 6 de di�metro.

- �Pero co�o! �Qu� se cree? Para m� que lo hace s�lo por presumir y son puras mentiras.

- Seguro, querido Isidro, pero paga, as� que de todos modos hazlos.

- Bueno, pues as� ser�. �Alg�n otro favorcito Alcalde?

- S�. Por favor, quiero que rotules en cada cond�n:

FABRICADO EN MADRID
TALLA: PEQUE�A

salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Humor ingl�s
Celebraci�n del 90 cumplea�os de Miss Sophie
como cada a�o, con sus amigos que ya han fallecido y solo quedan la Miss y su mayordomo James.
Los actores est�n sublimes.....:tequiero:

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x5zld2

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Entra un se�or a un negocio de articulos deportivos totalmente desnudo, solo con zapatillas puestas.
El vendedor le pregunta: en que lo puedo ayudar?
El cliente dice: vengo a comprar esa bicicleta que esta en la marquesina y que vale 1000euros. Aqu� tiene los 500euros.
A lo que el vendedor le dice: el precio es 1000 y el cliente le contesta:
C�mo 1000' si sobre la bici hay un cartel que dice:
50 % off en pelotas y zapatillas...

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Las 4 botellas que usa un hombre en el transcurso de su vida...

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

M�gico, Monet
volcad el tintero y dejaros llevar....
buen finde.

http://www.monet2010.com/fr#/voyage/

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Me encanta Claude Monet (y todo el Impresionismo) pero clico el link... y no veo nada...


Buen finde para ti tambi�n :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Pues verse, se ve:santo::adoracion::santo:

:brindis: int�ntalo de nuevo.

http://www.monet2010.com/fr#/voyage/

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

:nop:
S�lo una pantalla gris.
A veces ocurre (y con los v�deos m�s a menudo) que algunos sitios est�n vedados para determinados pa�ses por cuestiones de copyright. Quiz�s este sea el caso.
De todos modos, muchas gracias Chiqui! :brindis::brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

debe ser la maxima expresion del arte,que no se vea:meparto:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

UNO RAPIDITO

Jos� quer�a desesperadamente tener sexo con Ana, una chica de su oficina, pero ella estaba saliendo con otro.
Un d�a Jos� se sent�a tan frustrado que fue hacia ella y le dijo:
"Te doy mil euros si me dejas hacerte el amor".
Ana le miro y dijo: "Ni hablar!".
Jos� respondi�: "Lo har� super r�pido. Te dejo el dinero en el suelo, t� te agachas, y habr� terminado en cuanto lo recojas".
Ella lo pens� por un momento y le dijo que lo consultar�a con su novio, as� que le llama y le explica la situaci�n.
Su novio le dice: "Recoge el dinero lo m�s r�pido que puedas. Ni siquiera le dar� tiempo de bajarse los pantalones.
A ella le parece razonable y acepta la proposici�n.
Despu�s de 45 minutos, llama a su novio y este le pregunta: "�Qu� ha pasado?"
Ella, con la respiraci�n muy agitada, le responde:
"�Aqu� estoy todav�a... El muy cabr�n me lo ha dejado todo en calderilla!
:burlon::cunao:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

El consejo del profesional

�o ir�a mejor en el hilo del erotismo?

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Informes hospitalarios que pasar�n a la posteridad. Frases sacadas de historiales m�dicos o de informes reales.

* El paciente no tiene historial de suicidios.

* El paciente rechaz� la autopsia.


* Resbal� en el hielo y sus piernas fueron en direcciones opuestas a primeros de diciembre.

* Para cuando se le ingres�, su coraz�n hab�a dejado de latir y se encontraba mucho mejor.

* Al segundo d�a, la rodilla estaba mucho mejor y al tercero hab�a desaparecido completamente.

* El paciente se ha dejado los gl�bulos blancos en otro hospital.

* La paciente experimenta dolor en el pecho si se tumba de lado izquierdo durante un a�o.

* El paciente est� deprimido desde que comenz� a visitarme, en 1983.

* El historial m�dico del paciente ha sido insignificante, con un aumento de peso de un kilo durante los �ltimos tres d�as.

* La paciente no para de llorar. Tambi�n parece que est� deprimida.

* La paciente dej� el hospital sinti�ndose mucho mejor, salvo por sus dolencias originales.

* Sujeto var�n de sesenta y nueve a�os, decr�pito pero de aspecto sano. Estado mental activo, pero olvidadizo.

* La paciente expir� en el suelo tranquilamente.

* La piel estaba h�meda y seca.

* El beb� sali�, se cort� el cord�n umbilical y se le entreg� al pediatra, que respir� y llor� de inmediato.

* El examen rectal revel� una tiroides de tama�o normal.

* La paciente tubo gofres para desayunar y anorexia para comer.

* Afirm� que hab�a sufrido estre�imiento durante casi toda su vida, hasta 1989, cuando se divorci�.

* El paciente presenta dolores de cabeza ocasionales, constantes e infrecuentes.

* El paciente gozaba de buena salud, hasta que su avioneta se qued� sin combustible y se estrell�.

* El examen de los genitales result� negativo, excepto por el pie derecho.

* El paciente vive con su madre, su padre y una tortuga como mascota, que acude a clases de formaci�n profesional tres veces por semana.

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Gracias Chiqui :gracias:
es precioso...
es una de las mejores preciosidades que he visto por internet y
adem�s resulta que Monet me encanta...

yo lo veo perfecto, es una joya de presentaci�n, es interactivo y funciona de maravilla
vale la pena que intent�is cargarlo otra vez

MONET
y seguir las instrucciones que aparecen en franc�s :sip:( es lo que hay...)
de clica aqu� o alla o arrastra el tintero para volcarlo, etc..
Gracias Chiqui :gracias:

:brindis:Copas de cava bien fresquito para tod@s:brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Realmente la mejor presentaci�n interactiva que he visto..Sublime!!!:adoracion::cid5::gracias:

GRACIS CHIQUI!!!

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

�Precioso! Vale la pena verlo.

:cid5::cid5::cid5:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Estupendo Monet

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

UNA PROFESORA EN UNA ESCUELA LES DA COMO DEBERES A SUS ALUMNOS INVESTIGAR DE QUE MANERA FUNCIONA EL PAIS.

POR LA TARDE AL LLEGAR A CASA UNOS DE LOS NI�OS PREGUNTA: PAPA, COMO FUNCIONA ESPA�A???

---- TE LO VOY A EXPLICAR CON UN EJEMPLO, COGE TU CUADERNO Y ESCRIBE:

MI PAPA ES EL GOBIERNO, PORQUE EN CASA MANDA EL.

MI MAMA ES LA LEY, PORQUE ELLA IMPONE EL ORDEN.

MI ABUELA ES LA PRENSA, PORQUE ESTA ENTERADA DE TODO.

LA EMPLEADA ES EL PUEBLO, PORQUE HACE EL TRABAJO DURO...
y el ni�o dice...

Y YO SOY LA JUVENTUD Y MI HERMANITO ES LA ESPERANZA DEL MA�ANA!

------- AHI ESTA,!! YA TIENES TU TAREA RESUELTA-

--A MEDIA NOCHE, EL NI�O SE LEVANTA AL BA�O Y ESCUCHA RUIDOS
EN EL CUARTO DE SERVICIO Y SORPRENDE A SU PADRE CON LA SE�ORA DE LA LIMPIEZA,
ASUSTADO CORRE AL CUARTO DE SU MADRE Y LA ENCUENTRA DORMIDA
- VA A LA HABITACION DE SU ABUELITA PERO ESTA SE ENCUENTRA VIENDO LA TELEVISION.
AL VOLVER A SU HABITACION ENCUENTRA A SU HERMANITO
CON EL PA�AL SUCIO Y EXCLAMA CON ASOMBRO,

AHORA ENTIENDO TODO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EL GOBIERNO SE FOLLA AL PUEBLO,
MIENTRAS LA LEY DUERME COMO UN TRONCO.
LA PRENSA PIERDE EL TIEMPO EN TONTERIAS,
LA JUVENTUD DEAMBULA DESORIENTADA Y NADIE LE HACE CASO...
Y LA ESPERANZA DEL MA�ANA ESTA DE MIERDA HASTA EL CUELLO!


salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Asaltan una joyer�a de madrugadaen Gij�n y la "poli" necesita un sospechoso.
- Entonces encuentran a un borracho cerca del lugar y lo llevan a comisar�a.
- All� lo bajan al s�tano y un "poli" empieza a meterle la cabeza en un cubo de agua.
- Cuando el borracho esta casi sin aire, el" poli" lo saca y le pregunta:
- -�donde est�n las joyas?
- El borracho balbucea intentando coger aire y respirar,
- pero el "poli" repite la operaci�n tres veces,
- hasta que la cuarta lo saca.
- El borracho, apunto de morir ahogado,
- empieza a jadear tomando aire y el "poli" repite:
- -�Donde est�n las joyas?
- Y el borracho le contesta:
- -� Cag�n mi madre, contrata a un buzo que yo no las veo!!

--:brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Venezia de paseo
virtual, pero vale la pena:tequiero:

http://www.ocholeguas.com/2011/01/25...295955769.html

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Chiqui, no me lo tomes a mal. Los dos �ltimos enlaces que has puesto son una pasada de chulos pero �no crees que estar�an mejor en otro post que no fuera el de los chistes? Seguro que mucha m�s gente podr�a disfrutar de ellos.

:brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

Una ma�ana, un tipo, apreciaba su cuerpo frente al espejo, not� que hab�a tomado un bonito bronceado, menos en el pene y decide hacer algo para remediarlo.
Fue a la playa, se desnud�, se enterr� completamente en la arena,
exceptuando el pene, para que se le pudiera broncear con el sol.

Un rato m�s tarde, pasan dos ancianas, una de ellas se apoyaba en un bast�n para caminar mejor.

De pronto, una ve 'el pene' emergiendo de la arena y empieza a tocarlo con el bast�n.
Despu�s le dice a su amiga: !Realmente el mundo no es justo Juanita!'
�Que quieres decir?', pregunta la amiga...

Cuando ten�a 20 , estaba curiosa por verlo;
Cuando ten�a 30 , lo disfrute;
Cuando ten�a 40, lo ped�a;
Cuando ten�a 50, pagu� por �l;
Cuando ten�a 60, rogu� por �l;
Cuando tuve 70, se me olvid� que exist�a;
y, ahora que tengo 80, esas MIERDAS crecen silvestres y yo...

"Ya no me puedo agachar"

salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

Dos irlandeses, Shamus y Murphy, deciden salir a dar una vuelta por las
> calles de Dublin, con ganas de tomarse unas pintas de cerveza. El gran
> problema es que, entre los dos, s�lo tienen un euro.
> Murphy le dice a Shamus:
>
> �Tengo una gran idea! -y se va a la carnicer�a de la esquina, de donde sale
> con una salchicha enorme.
> Shamus le comenta:
>
> �Est�s loco?, ahora nos hemos quedado sin dinero.
>
> No te preocupes, �s�gueme!
>
> Entran en un pub y Murphy pide dos pintas de Guinness y dos copas de Jameson
> Irish Whiskey. Shamus le reclama:
>
> T� te has vuelto loco. �Te das cuenta del l�o en que nos has metido?. �No
> tenemos dinero para pagar!
>
> Y Murphy le contesta sonriendo:
>
> No te preocupes, que tengo un plan. �Salud!
>
> Se terminan las pintas y las copas y Murphy dice:
>
> Voy a meterme la salchicha en el pantal�n y la sacar� por la cremallera. T�
> te arrodillas y te la metes en la boca.
>
> El barman los ve, se pone hist�rico y los echa del pub.
> Con el mismo plan van de pub en pub, bebiendo y emborrach�ndose m�s y m�s y
> sin pagar un c�ntimo.
> En el en�simo pub, Shamus le dice a Murphy:
>
> Ya no puedo m�s. Estoy borracho y no soporto el dolor en las rodillas.
>
> Y Murphy le replica:
>
> �Y c�mo crees que me siento yo?... Ya ni recuerdo en qu� pub perd� la
> salchicha...
>
salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

Este es de una maestra que llega nueva a una escuela
El primer d�a de clase dice la maestra a los alumnos:

-Ma�ana quiero que veng�is con un bocadillo de casa para saber que nivel adquisitivo ten�is en casa.

Al otro d�a la maestra pregunta a uno de los alumnos:
-�T� de que lo trajiste Olayina?
-De jam�n de cerdo asturcelta.
-Muy bien, tu padre debe tener un trabajo muy bueno.
-Yo no tengo padre
-Vaya mujer entonces tu madre
- mi madre es puta
la maestra queda anonadada y entre tanto dice a otro ni�o:
-�A ver tu Col�s, el tuyo de que es?
-El m�o es de jam�n de cerdo asturcelta
-�Y tu padre de que trabaja?
- Mi padre es guardia civil
-Muy bien �y el tuyo Pachin?
-A mi me dan un trozo de pan y una onza de chocolate
-Entonces. �en que trabaja t� padre, que te dan una merienda tan mala?
-Mi padre es camionero, y entre las putas y la guardia civil no entra una perra en casa.

salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

El peque�o nieto estaba pasando unos d�as con su abuelo. Llevaba un rato jugando afuera con otros ni�os cuando entr� en la casa y le pregunt�:

- ���Abuelo!!!, �c�mo se llama cuando dos personas duermen en el mismo cuarto y una de ellas est� encima de la otra?

El abuelo se qued� un poco sorprendido, pero decidi� decirle la verdad.

- A eso se le llama follar, cari�o...

El peque�o dijo:

- "Ah...!" y sali�.

Al otro d�a lleg� del colegio y le dijo muy enojado:

- Abuelo, �no se llama follar, se llaman LITERAS!... �y la maestra quiere hablar contigo!





salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

un equipo de tv acude a un barrio marginal para hacer un informe sobre nivel cultural.
encuentra a un grupo de jovenes en un banco,de esos de pantalon ancho,caido,y pelo pollo,y hacen la 1� pregunta:
opinion sobre la poesia
respuesta: la poesia,la poesia....vino al barrio y se llevo a mi primo detenido por trafico,robo y arrastrar a una viejita de un tiron.
el reportero dice,no no es eso,esto va de poemas...
y responde el joven:el poema...ese es el poema,como sacamos a mi primo de la carcel:meparto:


buen viernes a todas

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

No s� si alguien lo puso ya, pero las cosas del m�rketing siempre me han atra�do:

Llega Manolo corriendo a la tienda de deportes;

desnudo, pero calzado con zapatillas.

>> Ante la sorpresa de los clientes y vendedores,
el encargado le pregunta:"�Qu� necesita, se�or?".

-"Quiero una camiseta como la de Beckham, con
el n�mero 23, como para m�"-, responde Manolo.

>> El encargado toma una camiseta de la talla de
Manolo y la extiende en el mostrador.

-"Pues, �cu�nto vale, hombre?-, pregunta Manolo.

>>-"Son 60 euros"-, responde el dependiente.

-"�La llevo!... Aqu� tiene sus 30 euros- dice Manolo, entusiasmado.

>>"Mi amigo..."-, aclara el dependiente -"...me ha
o�do mal, le dije 60 euros."

-"Lo he o�do perfectamente; aqu� tiene sus 30
Euros y d�me la camiseta"-, insiste Manolo.

>>"�Joder!..."-, exclama el dependiente -"...si le
digo 60, es porque vale 60 y no 30..."Manolo, ya
enojado, responde: "Entonces, �por qu� tienen
ese cartel en la vidriera?"

>>"�A cu�l de ellos se refiere?-, pregunta el
dependiente.

-"A aqu�l que dice:

"EN PELOTAS Y ZAPATILLAS, 50% DE DESCUENTO":meparto:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

Hola

EL SIDA EN LEPE


Fiestas de la Bella, patrona de Lepe.
Plaza del Ayuntamiento abarrotada de gente, esperando el preg�n del alcalde.

Aparece el alcalde en el balc�n y dice:

�Leperos�!, vamos a celebrar las fiestas de nuestra Patrona, pero antes de que empiece el jaleo quiero deciros que teng�is cuidado con lo que hac�is, que os conozco, y sois capaces de cogeros esa cosa tan mala que es el sida.

�Hay que tener precauci�n!� �Por ejemplo !�, �veis lo que tengo en la mano?...
(el alcalde exhibe en su mano derecha una jeringuilla).

�Esta es una jeringuilla de un drogata!,�

�Pues vais a ver lo que hago!�

(El t�o se desabrocha la camisa y empieza a pincharse el pecho�)

�Me pincho una vez, me pincho otra vez,� me vuelvo a pinchar,� y no me pasa n�!

�Y sab�is por qu�?

��� Porque tengo puesto un cond�n !!!


salud :brindis:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

UNO DE LEPE VA A LA FARMACIA A PEDIR UNA CAJA DE 500 PRESERVATIVOS
FARMACEUTICO: SE�OR ACABO DE ABRIR LA ULTIMA QUE ME QUEDABA Y VENDI UNO,ASI QUE SOLO DISPONGO DE 499.
LEPERO:VAYA,YA MA JODIO UD. LA NOCHE


:cunao:

Re: O.T. Chiste Del Viernes
 

EN LEPE UN CONCEJAL QUISO PONER LA CONDUCCION COMO EN INGLATERRA
LOS COCHES,A PARTIR DEL DIA SIGUIENTE IRIAN POR LA IZDA.Y DENTRO DE TRES MESES SI LA COSA IBA BIEN SE AMPLIARIA LA NORMA A LOS CAMIONES.:meparto::meparto::meparto: